Sometimes, I just want to drift
along with the piano music
that plays so softly
within my memory. 

That old piano music
like I used to hear
being played by lonesome men
in lonely smoke filled rooms,
where no one stopped to listen,
drinking their joy instead
from glasses filled with lost hope. 

Hidden unspoken dreams
left unopened
like good intentions gathering dust,
try to fill the empty notes
between some piano man’s melody.

 So many moments can drift by
without ever asking or demanding
of our dreams.

 Old piano music
like so many notes
are still un-played within.

I wonder just
how many more songs
must be played out
before the piano man
realizes his dreams!
#

The cold winter winds travel
Much too close to my heart.

I want to avoid the inner freeze
that may be coming.

Those dark icy moments of lonely
That live in the darkest shadows of the mind.

 I need sunshine this time of the year.

I need you at this time of my life.

I need to know that warmth can be found
and that there is still
sunshine behind
all those dark clouds of despair.

 I am putting on my winter disguise – a smile,

Just for you,
I will try. 

I reach out to you in the darkness.

I will be alright , once I thaw out.

I just need your warmth
and your love,
to help me make it through
one more winter night. 

But didn’t I always! 

Guess I always will!
#

I see your inner child
trying to hide in the shadows.

Do not try to lie to me.
I am not so blind.

I can still dream of hope,
in the darkest clouds
and the coldest hearts. 

Even clowns cry.
You are not alone.

Get off your roof top,
And join the world.

Bach didn’t sing the blues
unless the entire symphony played.

You are never alone
even when dancing
on roof tops.

 We were like
Two wandering gypsies
Seeking something
Beyond ourselves.
Until we found us. 

Now life is like
our golden wedding rings.
Never ending.
Always beginning.

The end,
As well as the beginning,
Of a dream rainbow.

Let us cease all the chasing
And enjoy our journey
Of discovery together,
Filled with thoughts
Of butterflies,
Rainbows,
And the promise for
So much more!
#

I awoke yesterday.
And realized that
the ocean
no longer sang to me ,
(Perhaps, she never did.)

The sun still shines at night,
Someplace else, but not here.

That wet puppy dogs smell,
even when you love them.

I found that onions,
good books and sad movies
could still make me cry,

And that you could still hurt me
Even when I was strong.

I discovered that a clean heart
Is more important
than a clean house.

I found poets
standing alone on the streets
Begging to write prose for a hug.

And I knew that my love for you
Was something I could not control
It had to take it’s own journey. 

So here I am
Ready to be me!

Are you ready
For the journey?
#

There are things
we need never understand

And places we do not need
to see or be.

The truth is everywhere,
crying out to be found!

 The patient earth
Has seen many sunsets
And many periods of darkness.
Yet, it keeps spinning around,
Ever searching for the sun.

That gift of light,
That forever waits
on the other side
of all our darkness's.
#

For each springtime moment
there is a special memory
being born within
the heart
of the earth. 

Soon, seeds frozen
in the winter’s womb
will emerge to mix freely
with the sky. 

And horizons
will have to move over
in order to join
with the earth and wind
under the blue powder angel skies
of spring.

I will attempt to absorb
all that I can,
before the butterflies
and dragon flies,
steal all the beauty
for themselves. 

Just as springtime
Always follows winter
(by God’s divine grace)
then hope must also flow eternal,
from that ever lasting
springtime within!
#

 I have heard that beat before.
under tin roofs
in faraway jungles
where lonesome young warriors,
did not understand
the rhythms of the rain,
nor life,
cried to the beat
of that falling rain.

 Now I am laying here
next to you.

I have no fears.

No anger.

No worries
about bombs
or tomorrows. 

I have learned to love
the rhythm of the rain.

I have learned to love you.

I have learned to love me. 

So I am satisfied
just sleeping here with you,
while listening to the falling rain
and the beating of your heart.

On the edge of the rim,
Over looking the canyons,
Filled with shadows
and waltzing ravens. 

I spin the medicine wheel of life,
Once more.
Connections awaken within
Drawing me back
Into the canyon lands
of unfinished dreams.

 Native drummers,
my warrior brothers,
Call out from the shadows
And pull me
gently back into
the canyon lands of desires. 

My spirit knows this moment.
It has lived it many times.
I know my way well
I have been here,
Struggling in the shadows and dreams
Of this canyon land .

 I watch the rain,
Foolishly jumping
From the sky,
thinking suicide thoughts,
as it falls into the darkness
and melts into the dream earth.

Only then does it realize
It will eventually have to return
to the comfort of the clouds.

It can never die
In the canyon lands.
It will always be a part of the sky. 

I realize that
The dreams will continue
To go on
And on,
Until the I,
And the rain,
Desire no more journeys.
No more earthly dreams.
No more deaths,
Or suicide jumps
Into the canyon lands below.
#

Who are you?

Do I really know you,
Standing so quietly in my mirror.

Thinking that you are not me,
You hang onto the edges of the glass,
Seeking oneness with the light. 

All your dreaming and desires
Confuses me
And casts doubts on what I see. 

There is no logical direction
To all those moments spent
Navigating the horizons
While pretending to not know each other. 

I know the memory of moons and roses,
And wars, and deaths, and battles for the heart.

We were there, even if we did not
recognize each other. 

Ego? Higher self? Shadow?

It makes little difference
When this shell is cast off,
In some homeward bound
Stream of light. 

I want to embrace both of us,
But I know one of us is only a dream.
Only a reflection on a pane of glass,
Hiding much pain and fear
But filled with so much love.

You and I
Are really but one traveler
Wearing different masks.
The one that everyone thinks they see,
Is nothing but a mine field of puzzles
And tears.

 So, we continue
on our journey of discovery.
Full of hope.
Trying to become what
What we were created to be!
#

I pause
At the steps
of the old church. 

I guess I am still looking
for that certain moment.
That special feeling.
That magic
of divine madness. 

I am still a seeker,
Regardless of what you believe,
But I want to discover
My own truth.

I want to know
My own God
and
Not just read about Her
In books
Written by
very old dead men.
#

So many uncharted and forgotten voyages within
Hazy memories of dream dwellers
silhouetted Navajo men and women
standing half naked around circles of fire 

Stones, feathers and old dry bones
Hidden in exile in womb like hallows
carved into the bellies of the earth
by the gods themselves. 

Ravens and bear
In altered states of belief and dreams
Dance with the dreamers 

The fragrance of wet earth
Coming from a curtain of thunderstorms
Just outside the visible shadows of the cave
Calms the dreamer and beasts alike
As old men talk to the gods
In languages we can no longer understand. 

And
Ravens whisper of journeys
To distant stars where the protector of cobwebs
Weaves clouds of white silk
Where wonder begins
And where there are no hard edges to reality
Only dreams
And visions
And passages leading back to the light
from the darkness.
#

July 4, 1998

How did God,
Just sit there,
Watching all those angels,
That fell to earth,
Without shedding
So much as a tear?